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Significance
Posted by Unknown , January 10, 2012 10:24 PM
Today.. Tuesday.. Cold.. Busy. Just an ordinary day at work, but it also seems so different in a way, no drastic events happened whatsoever. But why this urge to write? Write something to thank for??? I've always believed that the absence of bad is good. And today I shall thank God for goodness. And last week be just a memory, and a lesson.
It started two days ago, I was depress when my whole family (with extended relatives) started to gather and eat dinner, just to find out that they forgot to invite me. now isn't that something?? I've read a quote once that says "you are insignificant when significant news reach you last". It may be just a dinner, but it was for everyone, except me. I was home alone killing time just before bedtime, when my dad suddenly called up and realized I wasn't there, I ran as fast as I could. It was a very cold night, strong winds brush through my face, fighting tears falling down my cheek as I hurry, swallowing my pride to see these people that neglected my existence. I may be a little over the top melodramatic and sensitive, but I was just hurt. You see, all my friends are either from work alone or in the Philippines, all I have left in this foreign place is my family.
Another thought I remembered from my philosophy professor back in university, have you ever notice why people tend to vandalize anywhere or would want to leave a legacy before they die? It's a mark to be remembered, to leave a trace behind even if we're gone. Why? because of our fear of being forgotten, that fear that makes us less valuable among everything else, that in a lifetime living in a vast world even in memory we fade in oblivion, when it may all start in a flash of that dreadful feeling of insignificance.
Today I will feat this fear as I take this experience to learn and understand why. Is my company and presence displeasing in any way or have I not made a difference yet? I'm grateful for this strength I faced today, though I was hurt at first. It's a battle scar I would learn from.
