Life's appetite

My first step

Posted by Unknown , November 22, 2012 5:56 PM

I didn't quite expect how things would turn out, besides there's nothing wrong hoping for the best.  Every choice leads to either certain or uncertain circumstances, and often we wonder whether it was wrong or right. This wandering thoughts questions every little detail that comes along the path of that choice, and where does it lead you? Who knows...

Choices for some is a blessing or a crucifying curse for others. Why? More often than not, we play the blame game, a simple washing of hands to stray away from consequences. The burden of having responsibility of our actions and the fear of what's gonna happen next creeps in as one anticipates the worse-case scenario. Do you actually thinks its worth than not making a choice in the first place? That agonising feeling, like a quick sand hovering your sanity of constant depression.

It's quite weird as I put myself in a third person view.. You see, I recently quit my job, I've longed for that job for monetary reasons to have an easier life, to eat foods I love and bathe myself with material things. And in exchange? A mask to compensate time and happiness. This is subjective by the way. We have reasons why we stay or move on, and neither one of us can judge the other. We are motivated to do good in our jobs through different variables, such as family, survival, luxury, comfort zone or it might even be a place to buy time and save for the future. Nevertheless, it would lead us to that state, where those mornings of waking up and explaining to ourselves why we do the things we do. Others may find happiness through it, or perhaps a necessity to blind side what we really want, or even just because we don't see what lies ahead..

Not having a choice is plain bullshit. Everyone has it, but in every choice lies uncertainty that requires risks, and not all has the privilege to sacrifice such. But there's only a certain amount of opportunities and time that comes along in our life, others grab it and others makes their own.

That excruciating thought of realising that it's not gonna be easy taunts me, but to aimlessly search for meaning of contentment and happiness makes it bearable. For the only choice to be happy is to let go of the opposite. What was my first step after leaving? It took me a week to let it sink in, but what i first did was acknowledge my choice, and again hope for the best.

Blog mode by Sam Real