I can't help it, and even during the wedding I was daydreaming... Since it's about love, I might as well write about it.
I've had this predicament for a while now whether to understand love as an emotional feeling or a conscious decision. First you fall in love, a passive and spontaneous feeling that happens to everyone of us, but what makes it difficult is to actually stay and be committed loving that same person, since this so-called feeling fades sooner or later, therefore love is a decision?
But then again, To say that it's a decision is to dilute its unique quality, it's rarity, because the thought implies that one can just fall in love with anyone, in the same way one decides to buy a cup of coffee or buy a new pair of jeans. Love requires a mixture of conscious action and serendipity, certain circumstances must arise, certain elements must fall into place. To say otherwise is to make love as mundance, well, as everything else. And love is anything but mundane.
During the wedding i realised that to keep loving a person, regardless if it's conscious or not lies within what they both strongly believe in. It's not much of myself to say this, but their faith in God is what will truly bind them together. The laws of man towards love is an exaggeraion of feeling either good or bad, but the latter is to understand that good will always be intertwined with the other. Where their inhibitions will turn into trust and fears will turn into comfort. We see people parade their love during occasions such as weddings, but rather this couple was simply grateful for it. We choose to be with someone for different reasons, more often than it should, it's usually for a wrong one. But this couple has taught me one thing, choose that person that will help you be a better person than you were. To be guided by God and continuously grow with that person and appreciate the blessings along the way.
Cheers to the newly wed! May you continue being a lighthouse of love and an epitome of happiness to hopeless romantics like myself. :)
"Being a young mom means i met you a little early, but it also means i get to love you a little longer. They said that my life ended when I decided to keep you, but it has just begun. You didn't take away my future, but gave me a better one."
At first it was a shock, especially for myself, i had sudden images of a different path i meant to go to, the thought of losing so much of my single independent life. I started to cry. Until i realize these arms that wrapped around me while i wept to let go, it was him, the father of my child, the person that helped my realize one important thing, his first few words lingered in my unconscious mind as i aimlessly still wonder what would happen next. I can't thank him enough for saying it.. "Never make baby feel like he/she's a burden, but a blessing"
I felt that God gave me this gift because i had an overflowing love and affection to give, I understand his message now. I undoubtedly knew that my friends would be happy for me, enough to trust the fact that my life has become better, that i am strong enough to be the best parent that i could be, and that i have the best partner to be the father of my baby. My friends knew well enough that though i may have lost a few, but i have gained a lot more. A bigger family between friends and my own, a blessing nonetheless than what others may have thought.
It hurts me much more until now to see that my very own family (except my parents) would pity me. That they would feel sorry for me, that i can never be happy and successful on my own now. Because of having a child means not being able to travel, to stop enjoying and will have problems with my career? I do know more than anyone the sacrifices i have to make once i have my own family, but isn't that why we continue to live? To stop being selfish and start caring for something bigger than myself, i never said its gonna be easy, but i know that it would be worth it.
I shed tears of happiness and excitement now. This new beginning is going to give me a bigger meaning to fight harder, strive higher and stand taller. Living here in Hong Kong has always felt like i was an outcast in my family, but now i have my own. I don't need to prove anything or to fear what others has to say. It doesn't matter now, I saw people that was happy for me and i thank God. I can't thank God enough for my parents that makes me laugh whenever i feel sad, my friends that would fly from different parts of the world just to support me, and my boyfriend that i so dearly love that gives me strength through all this, and I can't wait to see my little angel that brought happiness and love to my once hollow life.
I didn't quite expect how things would turn out, besides there's nothing wrong hoping for the best. Every choice leads to either certain or uncertain circumstances, and often we wonder whether it was wrong or right. This wandering thoughts questions every little detail that comes along the path of that choice, and where does it lead you? Who knows...
Choices for some is a blessing or a crucifying curse for others. Why? More often than not, we play the blame game, a simple washing of hands to stray away from consequences. The burden of having responsibility of our actions and the fear of what's gonna happen next creeps in as one anticipates the worse-case scenario. Do you actually thinks its worth than not making a choice in the first place? That agonising feeling, like a quick sand hovering your sanity of constant depression.
It's quite weird as I put myself in a third person view.. You see, I recently quit my job, I've longed for that job for monetary reasons to have an easier life, to eat foods I love and bathe myself with material things. And in exchange? A
mask to compensate time and happiness. This is subjective by the way. We have reasons why we stay or move on, and neither one of us can judge the other. We are motivated to do good in our jobs through different variables, such as family, survival, luxury, comfort zone or it might even be a place to buy time and save for the future. Nevertheless, it would lead us to that state, where those mornings of waking up and explaining to ourselves why we do the things we do. Others may find happiness through it, or perhaps a necessity to blind side what we really want, or even just because we don't see what lies ahead..
Not having a choice is plain bullshit. Everyone has it, but in every choice lies uncertainty that requires risks, and not all has the privilege to sacrifice such. But there's only a certain amount of opportunities and time that comes along in our life, others grab it and others makes their own.
That excruciating thought of realising that it's not gonna be easy taunts me, but to aimlessly search for meaning of contentment and happiness makes it bearable. For the only choice to be happy is to let go of the opposite. What was my first step after leaving? It took me a week to let it sink in, but what i first did was acknowledge my choice, and again hope for the best.
Blog mode by Sam Real
4 hours since I last saw my mom at the airport, she's bound to leave Hong Kong again. She came over to visit me and my dad for a month and I've never felt so attached. People say that whenever we grow old we realize and see what's important to us, I don't understand i say.. Until now.
My mom and I usually argue a lot, especially during my high schools days. Grudges casts from those days, desperate attempts to get away from her, you know.. the usual rebellious side of a teenage girl. I was even so mad at her once that deep inside me,I swore not to be like her. And like all young minds, life teaches us to feel otherwise.Clearly I must say that she's no typical mom, not the conservative type nor the subtle emotional one. Whenever I made a mistake, she'll beat the hell outta me (not physically) but emotionally and psychologically. Till now I wonder how she does that, she tells me I'm wrong and gives me that guilt trip, besides being an ungrateful and inconsiderate daughter that I was back then, I had an excuse not to care because I was spoiled and young, and yet I did. Till now i would always be grateful for the tough love she gave me.
Here comes College/Uni, and like an Eagle mom does to her babies she helps them get out of their nests pushes them off a cliff and let them fly on their own. And that was exactly how my mom did it. It's not normal for Filipino moms to let go of their kid that easily, first there's the emotional clinginess, the everything-you-need-lunch-snack-dinner-"midnight snack" kind of smothering, then the investigator mom that sneaks around to check who's hanging around her son/daughter. And none, not even one of those have i seen my mom did. I know she wanted to, that if she was given a choice she would have me beside her at all the time, but her love was strong that she wanted the best for me. She trusted me enough to be independent and mature to make my own decisions and mistakes. Sure, I had my hard times, but because of the pressure to live up to her expectations, it actually helped me. She was the only person that never doubted me, she knew that whatever life throws me or wherever pit hole I'm in, I would surpass it no matter what.
Today, I look back at the times I was with her, how i took everything she did and everything she gave to me for granted. That whoever I am, whatever I have and whatever I will achieve.. I owe it all to her. No one sees how strong a woman she is, I've seen her stand up through triumphs and still put up a smile, never saw her turned a blind eye, sacrifice for the people she loves, and fight for what she believes in. She may not know this, but I look up to her now more than ever before.
Dear Mama,
Siguro nakokornihan ka sa sinusulat ko noh? Hayaan mo na ma, miss lang kita agad eh. Alam ko naman kasi na ayaw mo ng mga kadramahan kaya di tayo naguusap ng ganto. Di bale, wala ka nang choice kundi basahin toh.Wag mo na rin pigilin umiyak.. its ok. Ma, thank you. Di ko man madalas sinasabi pero naaappreciate ko talaga lahat ng ginagawa mo para saken. Pasensya na rin kung matigas ulo ko minsan, mana nga ako sayo dba? Di man tayo nag sasabi ng I love you tulad ng iba, sigurado ako mas mas close pa tayo sa kanila. Ingatan mo lagi sarili mo jan, wag masyadong high blood. Sana malapit na uli pagbalik mo. Miss you ma! Luv u!
Ang nagdradrama mong anak,
Chel
The sudden shock of a loud deafening ring, as i awoke half asleep from a dreamless night of an early 4:00 in the morning, work has never been a solitude of the life i live in, and yet i drag myself each and every passing day to earn, with no excuse to depend on others. I curse this feeling i have now, where comforting to madness is a saving grace to my broken heart, like a cupid's spell backfired with bows of torture. Surely I have anticipated pain in any course of love, but i was blown to this immense torment.I remember once quoted by Kahlil Gibran that "Love will Crucify you as much as it Crowns you", it seems that every memory lashes me and every hope thorns my very soul, for the pounding pain bleeds in a dust of withered love.
It all started last night, it was oddly dark as if illuminated light was not enough to shine upon anything,cold like the prick of snow shivers me, claustrophobic as if all the space i had was a prison cell. I was alone in bed scanning through my mobile when suddenly i came across my past love, then it started, a heavy invisible knife pierced through my heart after an image I accidentaly saw, the burn of flaming tears endlessly flow down my cheeks. I thought it was over, that I made myself proud to have moved on and hoped for a new love,to see myself with another like a childs fairytale of happy endings, but i thought wrong. They say 3 months would be quite enough for the pain to subside, it has been 1 year, 2 months and 11 days since my heart was broken into pieces and yet i still feel the same and even a little more from the hopes and dreams that maybe.. just maybe it would be ok again.
Please make it go away.. words i uttered from the moment it happened till now. The exhilirating feeling how it all begun and the excruciaiting pain of how it ended a year ago with the latter emotional anguish repeatedly happening at this very moment. I don't know really what else i would feel from now on, nevertheless, im already broken.. Again. I may be hurt but i hope he's happy, i really am. He came in my life to love me once but it was never meant for him to stay.
Someone Like You- Adele
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah
Today.. Tuesday.. Cold.. Busy. Just an ordinary day at work, but it also seems so different in a way, no drastic events happened whatsoever. But why this urge to write? Write something to thank for??? I've always believed that the absence of bad is good. And today I shall thank God for goodness. And last week be just a memory, and a lesson.
It started two days ago, I was depress when my whole family (with extended relatives) started to gather and eat dinner, just to find out that they forgot to invite me. now isn't that something?? I've read a quote once that says "you are insignificant when significant news reach you last". It may be just a dinner, but it was for everyone, except me. I was home alone killing time just before bedtime, when my dad suddenly called up and realized I wasn't there, I ran as fast as I could. It was a very cold night, strong winds brush through my face, fighting tears falling down my cheek as I hurry, swallowing my pride to see these people that neglected my existence. I may be a little over the top melodramatic and sensitive, but I was just hurt. You see, all my friends are either from work alone or in the Philippines, all I have left in this foreign place is my family.
Another thought I remembered from my philosophy professor back in university, have you ever notice why people tend to vandalize anywhere or would want to leave a legacy before they die? It's a mark to be remembered, to leave a trace behind even if we're gone. Why? because of our fear of being forgotten, that fear that makes us less valuable among everything else, that in a lifetime living in a vast world even in memory we fade in oblivion, when it may all start in a flash of that dreadful feeling of insignificance.
Today I will feat this fear as I take this experience to learn and understand why. Is my company and presence displeasing in any way or have I not made a difference yet? I'm grateful for this strength I faced today, though I was hurt at first. It's a battle scar I would learn from.
More often than not, things seems to be in limbo of what's suppose to happen. As Im writing this post, in a corner of a cafe out looking bars full of drunkards intoxicated with euphoria, I can't help reflect my life for the past year. Where nostalgic nights masquerades pain of longginess and contentment of what once was simple. As of this moment, only a brink of sanity prevents me from running away from everything. One moment Im in seventh heaven and next thing I know, I feel as if hell's dragging me down. If only I could see that path again, that ambitious side of who I am that constantly strives to succeed and fight, but as I unmask myself writing this. A moment of each motivation and push I give myself, a part of me says "damn I need a break". I put a bar of success and expectations in my life to move forward and be better, but deep inside I'm already committing suicide. So tired proving myself and people wrong, a constant battle for better, as if contentment eludes reality and turns into illusions to convince myself that the end of the line is worth all pain.
Hope
The only word that I trust.. That would save me from myself. Hope for someone to hold me, hope for my parents to be proud of me, hope for grace, and hope for something meaningful to live for.
Clearly I have underestimated bollywood films, I've been the least enthusiast for dancing and singing scenes in movies, and yet I gave this a chance since it was recommended by a good friend of mine (thank u!). Not a glimps of disappointment was seen through my eyes except for tears from laughing and sadness. It came to me as a shock how this movie portrays real life dramas of friendship, hope, aspirations and hapiness of life that I can personally relate to.
Based on Chetan Bhagat's novel, Five Point Someone (though only a miniscule part was adapted to the movie) it was a story of three friends embarking life through college with unexpected twists and events. Rancho (Aamir Khan) the wise, optimistic, laid-back character was responsible for the advocacy of a good life, Raju (Sharman Joshi) lost from fear and later on was brave enough to let go and Farhan (R Madhavan) though smart, never had the passion for the vocation he took.
It started with reminiscing, both from the movie and myself. A flashback of college life suddenly connected me with the movie. What caught me most was the camaraderie of the three best friends. there was a scene where one of them had to choose between school and friendship, yes at first he chose to focus on his studies, but let it be known as shown in this movie that no matter how much you push your "real" friends away, for whatever reason there may be, they always have your back. Always there when you needed them most, be it for the good times and especially the bad.
Lesson: life may push to the limit and trip you over the clif, but in those hard and sad moments in your life, realize there would always be someone, that you are never alone and that others may come and go, but some of the few actually stays..
Though there are more life-changing lessons, i'll keep it hanging from here to hopefully convince you enough to watch it. I guarantee you that after you watch this movie, you'll be a little happier and contented than you were 3 hours before. Cuz' ALL IZZ WELL! :)
I've reposted my writings from the past,as seen below (12 posts). Everything i wrote was almost so random that i didn't have consistency in my work, some were poems, inspired work from another writer, observation, perspective and other more. But one thing remains the same, is that all that you've read from older posts or will read is based soley on my personal experience. I've never acknowledge life to be out of mere coincidences or "just because", cliche as it may sound it happens because its meant to create other happenings. My past writings reflected from both sad and happy moments of my life, but all was a blessing because its who i am now. I now decided to share a part of who i am, from my point of views to my experiences, that somehow one day even just for a split second i would even move someones life just for being me, true and real.
Posted by
Unknown
10:03 AM
It was during this week that i noticed how often people (including myself) criticize every little detail of a person, be it from their physical attributes, social status, or to how he/she should live their lives. i have to say it would always be difficult not to, but as i fight this habit, it seems as if everything conspires it to make it twice as hard, or maybe i was now more aware of how often i am prone to criticism?
As i struggle to figure out why it was inevitable for me and for everyone to avoid criticizing, i decided to simplify it, from its reasons why, to the person himself.
Is it the person we are criticizing or his actions?
One thing you have to bear in mind is that there's no "ONE" action that could ever define a person. If we try not to criticize others, we should force ourselves to understand and separate the action from the person. Just because somebody is confident and proud with what they have doesn't mean that they're bragging about it. It is worth developing the ability to think badly about an action of a person without making it personal.
Have you ever noticed why you're always conscious about yourself?
Proven that most of them are the ones that criticizes others. Most of the people i know spends 2 hours in the morning just to fix themselves, from the tip of their hair to the sole of their feet. Not entirely because they want to look good or to impress someone, it is because they themselves are afraid to be criticized. Subconsciously assuming that others would do what they usually do.
Are all criticism bad?
Before you utter criticism to another, would it make him a better person or would it bring him down? To criticize does not necessarily imply to find fault, but rather an expression of disapproval. Others call it constructive criticism, which is a positive attitude and act that should be used for a persons growth and not to degrade them.
What's the point of doing it?
According to Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people". Now where do you stand among the three? If you're doing it in such a way of making yourself feel better, how long would keep on doing it? It doesn't take long before you realize that there's nothing happening to you, that you spent all those time and energy for nothing that would benefit you in the future.
I tell myself this.. i encourage you do too.
Put yourself in the shoes of the person you're criticizing and walk a mile in it. What would you feel? :)
Written by:
Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
10:00 AM
"Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened"
These are the words i kept reminding myself after i came back from a wonderful vacation in the Philippines. Those familiar happy faces i never thought i'd see again so soon, hugs and kisses full of love and compassion, words of support and encouragement, smiles of happiness and hope. I never realized why i was so eager to go home and see my friends till the day i started sharing who i am again, listening to stories i can personally connect with, and the sound of music from people laughing. It wasn't just a vacation like i had before, it was putting me back to track after i detoured myself from being caught living a mundane mediocre life. It was a reminder why i should do things differently, like i did before, people and everything around me changes inevitably at warp speed, everything in fast forward motion and as if i was held captive by my own fears after blending myself in a black and white background. Not a modicum of interest excites me about anything for the past 8 months staying in Hong Kong, but just ONE week at home made me anew like it never happened.
I was surprised myself when an hour before my plane arrives before going back, i came across this quote from a backdoor cubicle at the airport, it may or may not mean anything to others, but it moved me to a point that the sadness i had of leaving was relieved with contentment of what i had for the past few days. It goes something like this: "Happiness can't be owned, earned, worn or consumed, it is the experience of living every minute with love, gratitude and humility"
As i jump start my late noon shift today, i bring with me hopes and dreams i once lost to face all that i ever feared in this jungle town i call "challenge". The simplicity i yearn will soon adhere.. To all my friends that made me felt like i was home again, that i was not alone and that in every heartbreaking obstacles, lies an overwhelming light. Cheers! Salamat! Thank u! Till next time guys!
Posted by
Unknown
9:59 AM
It was exactly 10 years ago when I last spent my childhood years with my dad, i just had fragments of memories such as playing the piano with him while singing along or having him buy me a toy i really liked. You see, in an early stage of my life i lost the privilege of having a whole family and like all kids during this phase, it was the time when i realize the value of having a dad or a mom. At first i hardly see any difference, but gradually everything changed.
I moved to the Philippines to study on my own since my parents decided to still stay in HK to work. My mom visits quite often and that i was grateful of, but as weeks, months and a year passed by i barely knew who my dad was, he would call but what would we actually talk about? My teenage self was not at all excited to see him after a year or two, it wasn't because i hate him for being far away, it was because after a while i had this fear of disappointing him, that somehow the next time i see him i had to actually "think" what i had to say. He too i believed felt the awkwardness, but it didn't take long when he started joking around where every thing seemed to be in the right place once like before. Proven from what i had that distance can never come between a father's love to its child.
Since then i cherished every chance i had with him, we may not have the quantity of time together but the quality of a weeks vacation was more than enough for me to get through the next 12 months. Now being with him makes it more overwhelming. He has done more for me and my mom in his lifetime than he ever has for himself. He is for me the most unselfish man i have ever know in life.
Even though i' am now 22, i will always be Daddy's Little Angel.
Thank you for making me the luckiest girl for having you, I love you Pa!
Posted by
Unknown
9:58 AM
oblivion, blank and spaces is what i see
silence, deafening and blare is what i hear
cold, numb yet striking just let me be
free me from this world of misery
it was once a rainbow, but now i see rain
tears glistening burning in pain
smiles i had, now turned upside down
all that's left is but a frown
shadows of illusions that i thought was real
happiness and sorrow is what i had to feel
to realize that no yesterday is to become true
for tomorrow and the days after is but shades of blue
make it stop, make it go away
i never thought there was a price to pay
this wonderful friendship of us that grew
and yet after all this, i never knew
its a curse and also a blessing
wounded heart will turn into battle scars
you taught me well, lessons have gained
i fought, i failed and will stand up, despite the pain
the kisses and hugs, once high like ecstasy
but after a while i realize it was just an epitome
that all good things has to come to an end
hoping you will stay, burden is but to pretend
no more searching, no more waiting
my labyrinth once that felt unending
found its path in darkness, but wait
i'll make anew and control my fate
Written by: Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:56 AM
I've never really realized, ironic as it may seem, how similar yet so different we are to others. Fighting our own battles with all the same weapons. We face our own demons, have our own paths.. and still we conform to society's ways on how to deal with it. We struggle to make a difference in a paradigm of how people should live their lives. There are hundreds of labels these days, never given the chance to be unique without being scrutinized by piercing eyes, that expects you to follow a certain standard and pattern of what and who you are suppose to be. Being different and unique is what we're suppose to embrace and understand that each flaw and imperfection is what makes a person stand out, that our uniqueness of personalities and features makes us truly special.
How much of yourself are you willing to give away in order to have someone say that you're okay?, or be compelled to hide the real you, just so you can feel that you're no different and expect to have that connection to others?
If we hold back every time we are about do something that others may find weird and peculiar in their own perspective, we might as well live exactly like them. As i once wrote before, connecting to others would only be possible if we have the first most important connection of all, which is ourselves. What makes us who we are today are the choices we make, when it comes out good, never doubt that you deserve it, and when it turns out differently, its a blessing to make you stronger. Because at the end of the day, you are just being you.
"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be." -Fannie Brice
Written by:
Rochell "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:53 AM
Life as we know it is similar to a road, it has always given us bumps along the way, street signs to guide us, a traffic light to tell us when to stop or when to go. But often we find ourselves caught in traffic that seems like eternity, so idle, and "stuck". Like many journeys, its all variables, some will seek and find a direct route and others will wander and become distracted for a while or even fall prey to detours. There are moments, that against our will, despite what experience has taught us and expected us to learn, fears and discontentment sought us. Like a mirage across a dessert. Personal happiness as we see it shifts as it goes, comes into near focus and disappears, again we stand in the middle of nowhere.
We live in a world where there are no instructions and maps to where we have to go, no GPS telling us to turn right or left if we get lost. But even before we struggle looking where. We have to know that we have a long road ahead of each and everyone of us, to take the first step of this road is asking ourselves "Is this where I' m suppose to be?" The question may be easy to answer but its difficult to really act on the next chapter. We keep on thinking and planning to do something, and yet we are paralyzed in our mundane routines of our everyday lives. There are those who are blessed with the gift to find and realize that "sigh" of contentment that they have. But on the other side of the world lies people trapped within their own shadows wallowed in depression. A whirlwind of thoughts of "what ifs" and "why didn't I". Experience gives us the opportunity to learn lessons. There are no mistakes, just lessons. There may be initial success and a lot of disappointments, but a master once said " The secret of life lies on falling down seven times and getting up eight". Don't look back at times to see what you have lost but rather what you have gained.
Part of being contented is overcoming our personal travesty and that this, whilst suffering, brings us pleasure in the overcoming- the rising after we fall. We may be trapped and imprisoned by a life we once chose, but never can we tell that "it's just that". Only your last breath can stop what you can achieve. Let time be your friend not your enemy.. experience, your responsibilities to drive you to the limits and not stop you.. discipline, and choices to use as a gift and not a burden..life.
One thing worse than quitting is being afraid to begin.. always remember that doing your best is more important than being the best. Trust in yourself and take that leap, take the risk and you will find the rest along the way.
Wrtitten by:
Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:51 AM
To find myself lost in a labyrinth
searching..
waiting..
now vaguely lit by starts that covers me
watching tears fall from above and thy face.. slowly
searching..
waiting..
my plaguing desires to hold you once more
for warmth caress surrounds me like before
searching..
waiting..
envy i feel i cannot deny
these people that gaze upon your charming smile
searching..
waiting..
the rosy sun hasn't risen since you've been gone
it was even the last time i heard the birds sung
searching..
waiting..
your absence is my world's greatest enigma
shadows of memories, murder my insomnia
searching..
waiting..
this poison of longingness lingers through me
in a state braced by melancholy
searching..
for strength i search in world's abyss
imprison pain, veer a path of bliss
waiting..
in the break of dawns, liquid flames flows and burns these eyes
still i'll be waiting, till we no longer utter those wretched goodbyes
Written by: Rochelle "Sam" Real
*Sad as it may sound, he never came back*
Posted by
Unknown
9:42 AM
Purgatory is said to be a place where a person is trapped in a white empty world where no one else exists, between heaven and hell, between the struggle of good and evil, where being sane without inhibitions, without norms and without anybody else is the greatest challenge. Why do you think people made up this fictitious place? This I believe is a manifestation of feelings we call loneliness or solitude. To either express "the fear of being alone" or "the grace of being lone"
This inevitable feeling happens to us whether it's a passive experience of loneliness or an outburst of reason of its existence. In all of life's little ironies, many people are surrounded by others and they still manage to feel misunderstood, to feel alone, and to feel empty. Marriages where husband and wife are invisible to each other, siblings where their differences are their battles, and friends where despite being close have lives of their own. A lot of people actually hate the idea of being alone because they see it as abysmal. We have heard a lot of saying that is relative to the need of being with another, such as "no man is an island", "two heads are better than one" or even the word "soul mate". We are by nature co-independent with others, but why do we sometimes feel that no matter how much we try to fit in, to be accepted,to be understood, there is still no one?
This mystery to feat and be able to accept this state lies within us. The fact that we don't feel connected to the people around us and to the world means that we lost the most important connection of all-our self. Its how we warn or make known of ourselves of our unresolved issues, fears, doubts,dependence or probably a caution, like the feeling that the alone time does help bring out clarity, growth, trust and understanding. But the deafening silence can be both solace and at times, burden. This we have to cope and believe that no matter how long we feel sad in that state, it had begun and it will also end.
Written by: Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:38 AM
Have we not reflected on whats essential? That we are shadowed by our own greed, lost in the path of vanity, and even neglecting simplicity. Living in this superficial society is but shame. How long would we allow ourselves to live a mediocre life? For we cannot expect decency and practice of ethical norms in a monetary system, where people think they are as good as their bank accounts, the cars they drive, or even the houses they live in. I am not against capitalism, don't get me wrong, but I am against the massive corporate and individual greed, which encouraged us to live beyond our means and judge the quality of our lives by the amount of "things" which we own. And this is where it all begins, for little do we notice that in greed we form arrogance, and in arrogance we form judgment. Let me enumerate each trait to explain (from my perspective) how destructive and detrimental it could affect ourselves and society as a whole, and how one simple truth could resolve such dilemma.
Greed: "I do not have enough, and so i have to have more". These are the words of a person with greed lives by. As human beings we are innately insatiable and living to attain what we presently lack . But to what extent do we realize that we are shadowed by greed? Be reminded that desires are the currency of our actions, for whatever we do to have what we want manifests through our acts, be it good or bad. And this is where our moral-spiritual values takes place, we either stop if we know that we crossed that line, or to continue disregarding the consequences and be dominated by greed.
Arrogance and Judgment: "I am right, and you are not". There are certain factors that would contribute to these traits such as discrimination, racism, sexism and to our modern society we now have depending to assets, credentials, connections and social status. We're not a generation so different from those before us, this crisis (past and present) is created artificially by those people who are driven by insecurities and greed to convince themselves that they are better than others.
The sad truth is there are also people who tolerates these acts, for the sake of their present careers, acceptance, money or even just because of mere cowardice. Though our hands may be tied in this tragic sociological evolution, is there no other option but to turn a blind eye? This is but our own choice, to either let people undermine your worth for a temporary gratification, or to stand your ground and earn the kind of respect you deserve.
The simple truth:
We live in a crazy world, in outrageous times, with dramatic amount of negativity around us, and with change happening at warp speed, each time caught up in a cycle of routines or even trapped in this rat race of our present-day. We nowadays simply have smart, successful or beautiful men and women, but no longer value life's wisdom which is why we are constantly searching for true happiness. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, author of "The little prince" once quoted, "What is essential is invisible to the eye". If we only take our time to understand this quote, we wouldn't have such materialistic perspective, thus avoiding greed and rather to give importance to God, values, culture, love ones, etc.
Rare are the ones who have the courage to go for the real change, to be guided by acknowledging what "really" matters most. And i dare you to be one.
Written by: Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:31 AM
Exactly a week ago i decided to join red cross to go through what i never thought would be such a wonderful and blessed experience. How a random decision can change what i once took for granted and made me realize that all those idle intervals of my life, i could have done something, helped someone. Now i could genuinely say, it was a time well spent.
Red Cross trained me, educated me, and molded my principles to the extent of helping me understand the "honor of a helping hand". It wasn't as easy as i thought it would, all the medical text i have to memorize, the sequential methods of a proper CPR, the physical strain i went through. What more for those people who dedicated their lives for these selfless and righteous deeds in unimaginable turmoil and tension.
During my graduation in this training, i was moved by the words of my instructor, Sir Anderson Go. He shared his belief in why he volunteered for Red Cross, he said "Be a Pebble, it creates ripples". Cliche as it may sound, everything happens for a reason. Imagine saving a persons life that would be bound to do good things, or that could change the economic crisis and instability of our future. One single act of kindness creates a ripple effect far more than what we could comprehend, for their greatest achievement is when they're no longer doing it.
I salute those tenacious first aiders and rescue team that would risk their own lives to save others, but are they recognized? i highly doubt it. They themselves refuse such, for their integrity lies no less then the lives they save. Heroes i suppose is what they truly are.
Written by: Rochelle "Sam" Real
Posted by
Unknown
9:25 AM
There has been studies over centuries on how to live up to be an "ideal woman". Was there even a study on how to become one? Has it been proven that there was once an "ideal woman" in history? Women live accordingly to what society dictates them to be. As for men, it would always be a masculine figure, an egomania attitude that separates men from women. People neglect to realize how a woman can be flexible in character depending to whom they're with. Its all about adaptation of becoming an "ideal woman". Whats wrong with this argument is not the fact that women are versatile enough to be different, but to adapt themselves to different men's concept of a woman. Women tends to adjust to be what a man wants or expects them to be. Not because of the mutual feeling at hand, but the idea of living up to what seems to be a concept of an "ideal woman" correspondingly to her man. It may be her partner, her father, her best friend, or even a man she looks up to. You would see for example a "Virgin-Mary-type-of-a-woman", where she is well-bred, unduly sensitive to matters of decorum and rather lacking strength, that are presently in the countryside or a conservative place. We have the "independent-type-of-woman" where they are usually seen in big cities, because it is what men's concept of a woman to be like. The "noble-housewives-type-of-women" who takes care of the kids, finishing chores, and pleasing their husbands. Name it, society has it.Why do we have these? because its what men around them wants and expects them to be.
Others may say that this is not entirely true, but take a flashback from your childhood, or a recent incident in your life. There would always be a cause of what type of woman you are today, and there would ever so often be linked to a man, and his presumption of what a woman should be like.
But women are not fools to be a puppet of men's theories of women, choices are given. Logic is present, but the tragedy of logic of emotions it is. Driven by impulse, by sentiment, by instinct, or even by yearning. This we cannot deny, I am not saying that this is alone the truth. Logic of reason is still present, but is rarely apparent. The notion of what a woman should be is somewhat like a prototype, to rather guide her to the present environment she lives in, to be an "ideal woman"
Written by: Rochelle Real
This writing is inspired by the works of D.H. Lawrence, "Give Her a Pattern"
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